Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Pain Of Separation : Working Those Break-Up Blues

Visualising those beautiful moments, those times which tied your knot with your loved one, the piece of your heart the creator of your smile the one & the only one without whom your life would have been nothing just a "numb strucked wrath" without any feeling in heart, without whom you are incomplete in this fictional life. And Just as you were about to take a dive into the most happiest moment in your life the clock strikes the chord of time which snaps back your dreams of fantasy into a bitter reality of loneliness, & you realise the times you were snatched from love & the present state of separation. There are two things here I want to talk about : First is the pain of separation where you both (you & your Love) find yourselves lonely in the mids of forcible pressure. Second is the devastating feeling after breaking your relationship. Both of them are quite fatal on part to your inner emotions.
So Lets start with the first one : You find yourself very sad on hearing that your love is going away from you for quite a time & you wonder if it was not happening. Even though its not much of a problem but yeah "the one who feels the pain knows its scars". The pain of separation pisses you off, you loose your temper, you feel like shouting all out, sometimes yell at your near ones even your parents & then again blame yourself about behaving like that. So what to do, you can't just be like this, the feeling is killing you right? Well the Answer is SHOUT IT! Confused??? See, there are some times in life when it really craps up the mind & you feel like puking it all out to someone. So just go find someone you feel you are near to & tell him/her everything or if this is not possible then there's a better Idea Make A Diary(But make sure you hide it know!), & since the day you are feeling low about separation, scribble it all out on it with some good moments you spent. Adding the bad times along with the good times will help you ease the pain & forget the bitter tastes. Trust me you'll feel better after writing it all out, also scrape in your present emotions about him/her & things you are thinking to do when he/she will come back. In lonely times or when ever you are free & thinking about him/her, try listening to the songs of his/her choice this way you will be able to visualise the basic sentiments inside of you making you feel as if you are near to him & see You Are Smiling!! Nevertheless it works almost every time you feel low, just as you make sure you are concerned enough about falling deep into the fading emotions!! Cheer Up!!
Second & the most important thing about relationships is Break-Ups : I know it really feels like dying when your heart gets broken, may that be because of a misunderstanding or even a cold war between you & your love & sometimes a mutual aggression between you both. As man is moving towards a technology driven life there's hardly any room left for emotions now-a-days.Lack of understanding & co-operation is a major cause of marriages getting ended now. Despite of that sadness,loneliness,anger,feeling of being left behind is something that you have to go through no matter your heart has been broken or you are the heart breaker. Question is how to come out of these blues? In order to save us from the pain of breaking-up our mind tends go into a state of negligence & due to this we get separated from reality. After all its normal to go through easy & hard times & you wonder why every bad thing in this world happens with you? But don't let your hardships conquer you. Who is gone...Gone don't look back, moving on is what life means. All I mean to say here is not to send him/her those sms's saying "I miss you" & all that because it'll in turn push you more towards depression if you don't get any reply. So forget it all, the past becomes a memory, the future becomes expectations so its better to stay in the present. The Present is yours & you can live it the way you want, which nobody can take away from you. Delete all & everything concerning him/her, no need to shed tears for those who didn't care about them. Its clever to delete,trash,destroy the source of all those things which can take you back. I know it becomes very difficult especially if its your "first love" but its better to remain in confinement rather in lost emotions. Watch new movies,hook up with your old friends, invite them to dinner spend time more on leisure so that you make yourself too busy to think about the past. Friends are the most easiest & effective way to get away from the old times. Be confident make yourself sturdy enough,socialise more to make yourself busy. Read a good book. reading is the most effective way to change your mindset (I know you love reading isn't it? So go do that). And the MOST IMPORTANT THING, never even think of hooking up with another relationship as soon as you break up, I know the pain of loneliness makes you hate to wait but trust me it isn't going to help in the long run. Give a little time for things to go back to normal again, Time is the best Cure, its heals the best. Its a part of this treatment & gradually you'll see yourself upgrading to a never before state. And whenever the memories of your X strikes back again, try recalling the times he/she betrayed you & left you alone,didn't listened to you or was influenced by others. By this way you'll be able to encourage yourself to move on ahead & thereby convincing you that you are better of alone & even happier than before!

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